The recession is hitting parents hard, with one in five moms and dads saying they are not able to afford child care because of the economic downturn, a survey released this week found.

Overall, one quarter of parents said the poor economy created child care hardships, according to the survey of parents with kids ranging in age from newborn to three-years-old.

While the recession’s most common impact among these parents was being unable to afford child care, it was followed by a spouse who lost a job and took on more child care duties, cutting child care hours and making other child care arrangements, Zero to Three, which sponsored the report, said. Only five percent mentioned rising child care prices.

Together, the responses offered a picture of families who could use help as they try to work and cover their child care costs. Half of surveyed parents relied on caregivers, with nearly one quarter relying on a grandparent, 14 percent using a child care center and only four percent with in-home care.

In separate but interesting findings, the survey showed many parents are not in tune with some of their children’s key developmental milestones. For example, 23 percent of parents expected their children to be able to control their emotions by age three, and 43 percent thought they could by age three.

Research, however, shows kids learn to control their emotions between age three and five, Zero to Three said.

The survey was based on telephone and Internet surveys conducted in June 2009 with 1,615 parents.