Lisa Belkin tackled an emerging trend yesterday that could reshape or at least revise parenting in this country in a New York Times Magazine column entitled “The End of Over-Parenting?”

But whatever you call it, and however it began, its days may be numbered. It seems as though the newest wave of mothers is saying no to prenatal Beethoven appreciation classes, homework tutors in kindergarten, or moving to a town near their child’s college campus so the darling can more easily have home-cooked meals. (O.K., O.K., many were already saying no, but now they’re doing so without the feeling that a good parent would say yes.)  -- New York Times Magazine, 5/31/09.

Why should early learning folks care about the potential demise of “alpha parenting?” Think about drop-off time at any child care center. You will surely remember interactions that effect mom, dad, teacher and child: intensive questioning about a toddler’s latest breakthrough, how the classroom is run or whether Susie ate her special broccoli. These questions can strain or strengthen one of a parent’s most important relationships. And the little sponge you are dropping off is taking in all of this behavior.

In the last couple of years I noticed a backlash to helicopter parenting – parents who hover over their children’s lives and development – as part of a broader dynamic. I think relaxed parenting fits with the resurgence of the power of play in school and at home, the nature-deficit movement and even happy hour playdates. It all suggests we are crossing to a less stressed-out, and dare I say healthier, style of parenting.

As a former dad blogger, I have to add that dads could be a force behind this trend. I see stressed out dads at the playground and preschool, but not that many. Perhaps it is because many of us are new to this co-parenting thing. As we take on bigger roles at home, dads may give relaxed parenting a boost.
Belkin, though, raises an important point about taking this trend too far. Relaxed parenting could simply be the latest in a long line of parenting trends, where moms and dads try to be the most nonchalant parent, the New York Times blogger writes.

I am hoping it is a sign we learned from the helicopter parenting trend that mom, dad and their kids can benefit by downshifting, maybe not to neutral but to third or second gear.